My Office

The fact is is that all of us work with weird people. I know I have my fair share. Let me tell you about a few. First my boss, his name is Darwin, he's probably in his late 40's, bald, bug eyed and looks like a turtle. Darwin is one of the first 4 owners of Provo Craft and has been here for 30 some years (so he tells us every other day). Almost everyone at work(200 or more people) can't stand talking to him because he talks incessantly. And mostly about things he's told you 10 times before. No joke! The other assistant that I work with, Sara, and I have started taking a tally of the amount on times he tells about something he's already explained to us. He must think we are stupid or something because he tells us about really basic things that if we didn't know how to do, we could never do our jobs. I don't know how he expects us to have worked for the last 7 months. Darwin is very into idioms and uses at least 5 in every conversation. Sara and I also write these down. Our favorite is "the new management doesn't want to take the time to open the hood and see if it's a squirrel in a cage running around, or it it's a rocket ship" ?? what we think this means is that the new management doesn't know what's going on behind the scenes. We think!
My other boss (Darwin's assistant) is Suzanne. Suzanne is awesome. She's so good to Sara and I, always wanting to help us if we need something, but she is a little crazy too. She runs around at 100 mph all the time. She starts one thing and then runs to the next without finishing anything. And once she gets an idea in her head she runs with it, even if the information is wrong. Surprisingly her and Darwin are perfect for each other (in a work sense). She can sit and listen to Darwin talk for hours at a time, I would pull my hair out. Sara and I were joking yesterday that if Darwin asks us one more time about the accounts we are closing out we are going to turn around and stab him in the heart with a pen and then quote Andy from the Office "that was an overreaction!"
Then there is Marie. She is the Accounts recievable supervisor and when she pages someone to come see her she says " John, come to Marie's office." Though it's not really an office, it's a cubicle :) Also she pages the girls she supervises to her office and they sit about 10 feet away from her. There is another lady named Beth who does this really weird bouncy annoying Birthday song for everyone on their birthday. She also just had her first great granddaughter and of course I expect her to be proud but she quit literally chases people down the hall to show them pictures of the baby. Then I was listening to another girl talking to her about how she just had a new baby and Beth acted so disinterested. ??? We have one guy in the warehouse who looks exactly like the umpa lumpa from the new Charlie and the Chocolate factory, it's so weird every time I walk by him. I could go on and on but the last I'll tell you about is Valerie. She works in the Key Client Support and she thinks she knows everything and that she is a lot higher up then everyone else. She actually came up to Sara the other day and said that she knew about a lot of changes that were taking place but that she couldn't tell Sara...what is the purpose of that conversation? She makes anything that goes wrong seem like it's not her fault, and she talks all the time. I think we have a pretty good chance that we could pull off The Office right from my own office at 151 E 3450 N in Spanish Fork Utah. Darwin could be Michael, Valerie could be Kelly, Beth could be Phillis, I'm not sure who Suzanne could be...they just need to add her as a character. All together my days wouldn't be as interesting without these people.